For as long as I can remember, I’ve been at war with my own perception of how the universe should work. Usually I get an idea in my head and my idea of how something should work and how it actually works in the real world are rarely in sync. And when I get my hopes up, that’s the worst.

Today was one of those types of events.

Since the mid-1990s, I’ve been part of a publishing effort under the name of Moebius Adventures. We have gone through three separate iterations over the years: the 1990s, the mid 2000s in 2006/2007, and the most recent run starting in 2012/2013. If you’re interested in learning more, you can check out our website at MoebiusAdventures.com.

2016 was a great year for us and 2017 has been off to a bit of a rocky start. Today we were supposed to run a game for a group of playtesters at our favorite local game store. Yesterday I spent about 4 hours pulling everything together, getting in the right frame of mind to run a game, and today when we showed up… nobody came.

Let me start by saying that this is not the fault of our FLGS.

Over the last couple of weeks, I shouted into the void on social media — Facebook and Google+ — and mentioned it to a few friends. Obviously nobody was interested or had time. And that’s not their fault either.

The lesson here is that I need to figure out another way to get playtesters to the game table. That’s it in a nutshell.

But here’s the thing. It took the wind out of my sails in a way I wasn’t quite prepared for.

It’s not like it took long to realize that today wasn’t going to happen. I’d even mentioned it to AJ (my youngest daughter), who was there to help. We were going to give it 30 minutes and then head out. I think we gave it 20 and that was it. The writing was on the wall.

On the way out, I began feeling very, very tired. It was like I had just done an hour-long workout and my body needed time to recover. We went home, took care of a few things, went to lunch, and then I took a nap for about 90 minutes.

That’s unusual for me. I may like down for 10-20 minutes now or then, but 90 minutes of crash time is strange.  I believe this was a symptom of the difference between my inner perception and what actually occurred in reality.

In the past, I have reacted differently. When I realized that the Moebius Adventures Core Rules book was a failure at the game table after a playtest session, I retreated from publishing for TWO YEARS before I was ready to start again. And when I did start, I wrote reviews of other peoples’ materials through Game Knight Reviews. I did that from 2009 to 2012 when I started working on the first One Spot for the rebooted Moebius Adventures in the fall of 2012.  That was nearly a five year break between “failing” in 2007 and starting again in 2012.

My goal is not to retreat this time, but to learn from what happened and move on in an intelligent manner. 🙂

I think that’s a better way to go, don’t you?