Illusory Twine Imagined pain’s still painfulin this wonky brain of mine.Sure, stubbing a toe hurtsbut what about the beliefyou’ve done lasting damageto a 30 year relationshipby saying NO.My mind wraps itself tightaround that axle of thoughtuntil everything stops moving.Some days I have to stub my toejust to break its holdlike some illusory twinestuck in a… Continue reading Poem: Illusory Twine
Poem: A New Season
A New Season The country didn’t change,nor did its people,when we switchedto a better channelin the White House,though it seems some expected it to. The plot is the same,though the characters changedand we hopethe supporting castcomes through in the endto give usfresh faces and new linesfor memes, late night hosts, and talking heads. We all… Continue reading Poem: A New Season
Poem: Ebb and Flow
Ebb and Flow Keep to the edges.Avoid the middle.Words to live byuntil the world pushesand calls me out.Fighting, kicking,screaming inside,they’ll never know.Beaten,I smile a smilethat doesn’t reach my eyes,always wonderingif anybody seesthe truthas I swimthrough the crowdto the safetyof a window,looking out,longing for the freedomI never feltbut missall the same. BTF 20-JAN-2021
Poem: A Loose Shadow
A Loose Shadow Take a deep breathto draw in your shadowtil it touchesthe bottoms of your feet.There it will stayuntil you cut it loose againto wander. That second star to the rightcasts little enough light to find your way to morning, yet somehowall the shadows feel like homein the dark. It’s so easy to fadeand… Continue reading Poem: A Loose Shadow
Lessons of 2020: Good Boy Syndrome
Hindsight is 2020, right? Well, even though it’s almost in the rear view mirror, I’m left facing some hard truths. Thanks to a Brene Brown podcast, I stumbled upon something I didn’t have a name for… the so-called “Good Boy” or “Good Girl” syndrome. Apparently this was driven into me at an early age but… Continue reading Lessons of 2020: Good Boy Syndrome
Poem: Another Step
Another Step Torn apart once again,I collect the piecesand count the missing,losing more each time,wondering when enough is gonewill the world take notice.Back together,I can feel the holesas wind blows throughand tickles what’s left.Never whole, always lookingfor the parts left behind–the memories, people, and thingsto remind me where I started–as I take another stepto start… Continue reading Poem: Another Step
Wrapped around the axle
Every now and then I find myself stuck. Mentally. It’s like a process gets loose in my brain and sucks up all the available resources so whatever’s left has to pick up the slack. I know there’s more there. I just don’t have a way to purge that runaway process sucking system resources. I find… Continue reading Wrapped around the axle
Checking in… August 2020 Edition
Yeah, I know it’s nearly the middle of August, but I feel the need to take a step back and look at where I truly am after a few super stressful weeks. This has been a bizarre year with COVID-19 and all the changes that it forced upon the world, but it was the last… Continue reading Checking in… August 2020 Edition
Poem: Ghost
Ghost I have becomean afterthoughtin my own life. Called if needed.Summoned like a daemonto assist their needs. Dismissed as quicklyas the wind. Put back on a dusty shelf,to watch and listenfor another chanceto feel alive. Wondering onlyif I did enough,I drift back to a ready stateand wait for the next call. Thinking that a life… Continue reading Poem: Ghost
Gut Check: Am I the villain in my own life?
This question rose from my gut today… Am I the villain in my own life? And it’s a good one. Let me explain. I have long felt like I am holding myself back on a number of fronts. Things get uncomfortable and I don’t want to push forward. I find myself waiting (sometimes forever) for… Continue reading Gut Check: Am I the villain in my own life?